This Week in Middle Age
The Rolling StonesSuffered a cancellation in Spain when Mick Jagger's voice gave out. So let's see on this tour they've been plagued by doctor prescribed rest, fell and hit head, and walks with limp. Wait that last one's me.
Sylvester Stallone & Chuck WepnerSettled a lawsuit for undisclosed terms in which Wepner, known as the Bayonne Bleeder, claimed to be the real life inspiration for Rocky Balboa. I don't have a joke here other than to note "Bayonne Bleeder" has to be one of the worst nicknames of all time.
Junior SeauRetired from the NFL. Now that you're retired, how about a grown up name? How about Fred? Fred Seau? That sounds like you're retired.