Return of ManBoobWith the World Cup on now, I recently had the conversation with a friend where you play, "What would I rather watch?". You know the game. Assuming your big 3 is football, baseball, and basketball, in whatever's your particular order, what comes in fourth place? ESPN lives to fill that fourth place vote, and every vote out to 92nd place as well. Usually, you attach some sort of qualifier to that fourth place vote.
This week we've had three good fourth places with their qualifiers. Hockey had the Stanley Cup, soccer's got the World Cup, and golf had a major. Hockey? I'm in the South. One day I'll post about marketing hockey in a place that doesn't stay frozen for more than a day. Not today. World Cup? I've already backed the dump truck up on that one this week. Golf is today's easy target.
Let me preface this with, I suck at golf. A lot. I don't hate it. I'm just not very good. The only time I played with any regularity was right after college. Broke 90 a few times. Mostly shot 95- 105 depending on the course. Never took a lesson. Today if I play it's most likely in a scramble format. If I'm not in a scramble, I don't bother keeping score. I like the social nature of the game. I don't like how much time I have to be out there. 9's not enough holes, 18's to many. I could drive off about 13 holes most days. I have a club membership, but I just use the restaurants and the pools. I'm sure I'll be playing more of it soon as it the popular diversion of the hard artery set. I say all this not to bore you further, but to frame the depths of my indifference.
Be that as it may, a golf major is going to be my fourth place vote. Golf finals also dovetail nicely into the life these days. This weekend I caught a good bit of the final round of the U.S. Open. I'd put a long weekend of family in, so I was due the down time. Down time in this case meant getting a nice dinner ready while watching the U.S. Open. Getting a nice dinner ready is also code for getting a nice dinner ready and having a few beers. Wives give you the pass on the few beers when you're productive during the few. It's only when the few turn to many and cloud the reasoning, do you catch trouble.
"Honey, I painted the house." "Why did you paint a stripe on the dog too? How many beers have you had?"I digress. Watching the U.S. Open Sunday, I started having the, "Is this even a sport?", argument with myself. Deal with a tremendous amount of pressure? Yep. An incredible level of concentration? Sure. Requires a high skill level? No argument, but then again every other sport deals with these also.
Working against golf are a couple of things. Is anybody trying to stop you? Well. Anytime a girl tries to compete with them do some golfers get their panties in a wad? That's embarrassing. And, finally, the best golfer out there now...are those manboobs?
Nobody's making any effort to stop you in golf. There's no 300 pound guy chasing you trying to rip your head off. Nobody's sticking a 90 mph fastball under your chin. So there's no real peril in golf. Often times, like Sunday, your most direct competitor isn't even near you. It's really just one big game of H-O-R-S-E. You make a shot. The other guy's got to make a shot or you win. Now if they allowed you to compete say with your own vices, that would be interesting.
"It's the 13th hole, a par 5, he's lying 2, with an 8 iron, and that's his 26th beer in his hand. I'm not sure if he cares if he hits the green here, just as long as he doesn't piss himself."I lost a lot of respect for golf during the Annika Sorenstam episode. Although, I don't hear as much crying this time with Michelle Wie. If your worried about a girl beating you? C'mon, how tough a guy are you, and how hard is this "sport"?. Granted, it was only a few knuckleheads, but it was enough to drag golf down. And nothing against the ladies, I love 'em. If Jennie Finch could pitch in the bigs, she can go right ahead. In fact, take the locker next to mine. Just no crying from the boys, please. Needless to say I was rooting for Sorenstam to stomp some people's guts out.
I don't have anything against Phil Mickelson. I've read some people on the tour don't like him because he's arrogant. Arrogance is pervasive in sports. I realize he came up short Sunday, but 2 straight majors and a second in the third? He's the best golfer out there right now. Golf, though, needs Tiger Woods back in the worst way. Tiger looks like he could play something else. Phil? I don't even want to make jokes about those. You got embarrassed looking at them, like you got caught looking at some girl's chest. That's bad...for both of us, me & Phil.
But my point is, if that's your best guy? Not a sport. Sorry. Still got my 4th place vote, but it's not a sport.
