Disclaimer: I don't have any idea if any of these are the best supplements for middle age. I just recently took a bunch of them and thought I'd share my experiences. Do with it what you'd like.

Ibuprofen- Alright, not technically a supplement, but the way I take them it may as well be. Basically, I drop them like breath mints and it was the pace and volume that I chug them that got me thinking about alternatives in the first place. Actually, I didn't think about alternatives at all until people kept bothering me about how many ibuprofen I took. People would say, "Did you just take 10 ibuprofen??? That's bad for you! That will hurt your insert random organ here." To which I say, "That's fine. As soon as my random organ hurts worse than my hip, knee, back, and marriage, I'll change things up." Until then though, it's legal, it's over the counter, and taken in fistfuls it works well enough to get me to tomorrow. I can't say that about anything else in my life.

But, hey, I'll try anything which led me to...

Viagra- Another disclaimer: I don't need Viagra, but I know what it's supposed to do and I'm fascinated by the possibilities. By possibilities, I mean the possibilities of me taking it in fistfuls like the Ibuprofen. I know what will happen and I don't think it's so bad. You could have worse physical afflictions than walking around with a 24/7 boner. Instead of being the guy with a giant goiter on his neck, you're the guy who walks around with a hard on a-l-l the t-i-m-e. People can call me Bonerman. I don't care anymore. For years, I've used the line, "It won't go down unless you touch it." Now, I just adapt it to, "Seriously, it will not go down unless you touch it."

Disclaimer- The above is an unfinished blog post that's been sitting in Drafts for at least 6 months. I'm just going through Drafts and publishing everything because it at least breaks the near two year spell of not posting and....wait...Who am I explaining this to? No one reads this but me