Grey Ghost
Monday, June 27, 2011
Training Video
I had occasion this week to endure a requisite training video. I don't want to reveal what I do, but I'm not sure it matters. I think a lot of people in regulated industries or large corporations are forced to endure this crap. At the end of this I always think of the same question. Who is this training for? Morons?
If the training videos are any indication, the necessity of producing and showing training videos could be eliminated by simply not hiring morons. Also, if any morons are currently employed they would need to be fired immediately. The training in training videos is useless to me. There is nothing instructive in watching a moron strap on snowshoes and dance through a minefield.
You know who needs training videos? Human resources, because apparently morons have infiltrated the hiring process and the rest of us have to be warned not to drunk drive a steamroller through a playground. Human resources should have two sets of training videos. First, they should get a training video on how to identify morons in the hiring process. Second, H.R. should have to sit through the training videos I just watched to reinforce the corporate consequences if they fail at screening morons.
I'm tired too of the Training Video Players acting troupe. I'm starting to recognize them and the roles they've played. There are three basic roles to play in these productions. There is Moron, Victim of Moron, and Supervisor of Moron who is frequently also a moron. I'm not sure where moron and victim of moron is in the acting hierarchy, but I've got to think it's below Oscar winner.
Finally, the technology has advanced to the point there is now interactive features with the training videos. We know now the answer to the question, is there anything technology can't improve? Yes, training videos. Do they really need to ask,
"What should the moron have done?"
A) Not wear a meat suit into the lion cage
B) Not bathe in a tub of gasoline near the fireplace
or
C) Not imbed himself in an industry that mandates I sit through this
If the training videos are any indication, the necessity of producing and showing training videos could be eliminated by simply not hiring morons. Also, if any morons are currently employed they would need to be fired immediately. The training in training videos is useless to me. There is nothing instructive in watching a moron strap on snowshoes and dance through a minefield.
You know who needs training videos? Human resources, because apparently morons have infiltrated the hiring process and the rest of us have to be warned not to drunk drive a steamroller through a playground. Human resources should have two sets of training videos. First, they should get a training video on how to identify morons in the hiring process. Second, H.R. should have to sit through the training videos I just watched to reinforce the corporate consequences if they fail at screening morons.
I'm tired too of the Training Video Players acting troupe. I'm starting to recognize them and the roles they've played. There are three basic roles to play in these productions. There is Moron, Victim of Moron, and Supervisor of Moron who is frequently also a moron. I'm not sure where moron and victim of moron is in the acting hierarchy, but I've got to think it's below Oscar winner.
Finally, the technology has advanced to the point there is now interactive features with the training videos. We know now the answer to the question, is there anything technology can't improve? Yes, training videos. Do they really need to ask,
"What should the moron have done?"
A) Not wear a meat suit into the lion cage
B) Not bathe in a tub of gasoline near the fireplace
or
C) Not imbed himself in an industry that mandates I sit through this
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