5 Months Gone. Time to Post!
Nothing motivates me to post more than somebody blindly landing on this blog. In honor of the faithful reader who not only stopped by, but also clicked on one of the ads for a product that's unavailable any where else but this blog, I will now spew the most topical observations I can recall from the last 5 months. O.K., I can only coherently remember the last 5 days.
And thank you again reader for pushing the blog decisively beyond the $1 dollar ad sales threshold. As soon as I'm done posting I'm doing a word count cost analysis to determine just how futile I am.
Here goes...
Somali PiratesI got to thinking, who could the pirates nab that we would not be interested in rescuing? Ship captains skippering humanitarian aid for famine relief get a battleship, two destroyers, and a team of Navy SEAL snipers to secure their rescue. Who would merit a big old yawn of indifference if they were grabbed by the pirates?
I have an idea. What about anybody from "The Real Housewives of Who Gives a Damn"? I certainly don't watch this religiously, but I have seen enough to identify some prime pirate fodder. Let me apologize in advance if there is a Real Housewife on this show who isn't vapid, pretentious, obnoxious or some combination of those three. If there is a Housewife unlike that, I apologize. I just have not seen her.
The Housewives fall into that genre I like to call, "Why the Muslims Hate Us". There's a whole network's worth of programming just like this we could consolidate into one channel, pipe into El-Jazeer, and work the Muslims into a bigger frenzy about America than they already are.
I'd like to be on the line when the pirates call in the ransom demand, "Not only are we not paying the ransom, we are sending you a coupon good for 2 more Housewives. You don't really know what you have there do you now?"
Message to America: If a reality tv producer approaches you about filming your life, and you do not have 9 sets of triplets or you do not build motorcycles out of discarded coffee tables in your garage, the producer does not find you compelling. The producer is there to mock you. Of course, if you are vapid, pretentious or obnoxious you are unlikely to realize this. Unfortunately, a Somali pirate is unlikely to realize this either.
Insurance Institute for Highway Safetyhttp://wheels.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/04/14/small-cars-rate-poorly-in-new-crash-tests/?ref=automobilesI suppose the IIHS has a job to do. It seems like a pretty easy job this week. In case you missed it the news is those minuscule tuna cans on wheels fare poorly in crash tests with normal cars. Really? I had no idea you were at risk from other vehicles while hurtling down the road at 40 mph in a dry cleaning bag.
I find humor in that the study only involved regular cars smashing into the matchbox cars, and they skipped over crashing them into suv's. I guess those results would be to obvious. The average Hummer driver is unaware they've hit anything until they stop at a car wash.
