Vitamins
I've finally been dragged into vitamin taking, all because of a buy one get one promotion. The wife didn't want to fully commit to the "get one" side with her vitamins so she "got one" for me. I'm so pleased.
These aren't just any vitamins. It isn't the simple little tablet sitting on the napkin next to your orange juice. No. These are seven huge horse tranquilizers that would be formidable as suppositories. Laid end to end they resemble some of my fingers. Basically, I am required to swallow both pinkies and half of my ring finger daily. It takes concentration, effort, and half a gallon of apple juice to do this.
At this point I cannot discern between the effect of taking the vitamins and drinking half a gallon of apple juice daily. I suspect I would feel similar if I simply drank from the garden hose for ten minutes. I'm sure I wouldn't urinate less.
The vitamins do have the universal vitamin effect of turning your pee a different color. This is the vitamin manufacturer's way of reinforcing that something profound is occuring deep inside of you. I'm ok with this, but would request that I be able to choose the color. I would choose a dark blue.
The vitamins did give a choice of what deficiency in your life you'd like to enhance. They don't portray it in those terms, but let's be honest. That is certainly what they are trying to suggest. My choices were "Sport", "Vitality & Performance", and "Memory Boost". After reading the fine print regarding what "Vitality & Performance" was intended to address, the wife eliminated "V & P" as an option. Make your jokes here, but if the wife is trying to suppress my "vitality" do I really have a "performance" issue? "Memory Boost" was an option because I could not remember how I'd allowed myself to be dragged into the store in the first place. I suggested I'd be in the market for "Memory Erase". The wife knew where I was going with that one. Nothing tells you your marriage is in a good place like being hit in the head with a box of vitamins in the vitamin store.
We settled on the all encompassing "Sport". They call it "Sport" because they can't fit "
For the Guy whose unit still works, He remembers how to use it, So let's just call him Sport" on the box.
I'll let you know how it goes. For now I have to go. I think you know where.
Okay, I'm Back
If you hang around the internet long enough, people will mistake you for something else. The Grey Ghost blog is dormant proof of that.
One is, AdSense has got me schlepping weimarner dog wash for a year straight now. Part of that's my fault. If you don't post, AdSense has little else to go on but guessing at a hidden meaning for your blog name. Fortunately, for me and for AdSense, this is not CrotchRot.blogspot.com. To my knowledge neither AdSense or myself has moved any dog wash whatsoever. Just as we previously didn't sell any hammocks or any of the other crap that AdSense's logarithims mistakenly latched on to. I suppose that's not all AdSense's fault. A blog about nothing in particular is pretty far from target marketing. My problem is AdSense refuses to recognize any high end or big ticket items that I gratuitosly mention. I should be able to opt for some sort of Cadillac package of AdWords so if I get a hit it's at $5 a pop. Right now I think there's a pizza coupon at the bottom of the page. The world has enough pizza coupons. C'mon AdSense...Mercedes, Coach, Godiva, Dammit!!
Second, and I don't know if this is coming off the blog or a bad email address, but all of a sudden I'm getting inquiries for auto parts. Today a guy was looking for a transmission for a '98 Geo Metro. You know times are tough when people are repairing cars with parts that probably exceed the value of the car itself. I'm probably getting mail intended for Gray with an "a" Ghost, or the Gay Ghost, or Gary the Ghost at gmail.com. The polite thing to do would be to give them the "wrong address" reply. Not me. I'm going to run over to the blog and make fun of somebody's Geo Metro. Plus I get the added bonus of a week's worth of Geo Metro repair part ads splashed all over the blog. We know that in the world of Geo Metro owners there is one guy interested in repairing his '98 as opposed to the rest of the Geo Metro universe who would appropiately euthanize there vehicle at the first sign of major repair. We know this because the guy emailed me today. So now me and AdSense are going to try and contact him. Gotta like those odds.
