Because Somebody Cares
I don't hit this thing regularly. There's no recurrent theme to anything I do put up here. I can't find my own blog using any of the standard search portals. I don't get "tags". I know little HTML. I don't get Digg'ed or Technorati'ed or any other blog-o-metric'ed.
Oh, and AdSense has me pimping the most eclectic bunch of crap. I don't think I'm technically allowed to specifically mock any product in my banner ads. Let's just say if I where a free standing retail unit, I probably couldn't rent a stall in the scuzziest flea market. Neiman Marcus this ain't. Whoops, there I go again. "Scuzzy flea market", coming to a banner ad 4 inches north of here soon.
However, right as rain...wait...right as rain in the desert, Somebody stops by here. And every once in a while that Somebody clicks on one of the ads. Maybe it's just a little Google gremlin that comes around, runs through the blog, clicks on an ad, does a search, then splits. Gets my hopes up. Gets me to post a little more. What's it to Google? If it takes off, Google's got another revenue stream. If it doesn't, they weren't going to pay me anyway.
Maybe Somebody is just somebody who wandered in here by mistake. They saw the ad and clicked on it out of morbid curiosity, in a "I can't believe anyone would try to online retail that" kinda way.
Or maybe, given what I think of my product line, my Somebody is a weirdo. Maybe AdSense is a stronger product than I thought. They've got my blog pegged, and they know to target market to the weirdo likely to stop by. I don't care. It may be a weirdo, but it's my weirdo and I'm pitching to him, her, or it.
On to the drivel...
The EmmysTurned it on and off a couple times, then mostly off. I'm not sure if I should feel good about myself or feel old because every time I watched it was award presenters I'd never heard of giving awards to shows I'd never seen. Then I remembered why I was indifferent this year. The best show on tv last year, hands down, was The Wire. It might be the best show on tv, ever. Didn't get a nomination.
Just Tell Me You Love MeListen, just tell me when the nudity is on. Let me summarize a couple of the story arcs.
First is the married couple who hasn't had sex in a year. It's not her. She's going to the therapist, and complaining. The husband is Jonesie from "Carnivale". The problem could be Jonesie's johnson is shot from all the carnies he was banging on his last show. Let me play therapist for a second, "Have you tried acting like a slut? No? Try that, then we Viagra him, and if none of that works we ask him if there's been any changes to the constitution if you hear what I'm saying." How is this drama? It's a guy's johnson. It's not complicated. Am I right ladies? You tug on it...O.K., I'll stop.
Second, is the couple who can't conceive. It's also not her. She's been to the fertility clinic. (Can they make it any clearer who this show is geared to? It's currently Men-2 Women-0 on the Dysfunction Scoreboard) Again, there's little drama to the resolution. First, you go get Mr. BlankShooter a big boy hair cut. Did you ever consider the guy might not be capable because he looks like he's 12? Then you drag him to the fertility clinic. If it's him, you cut bait and work the waiver wire for his replacement. I ask you, what would happen in the wild if he was say an infertile lion with a hopelessly messy mane? That's right. He'd be a lonely lion.
All I'm saying is, this isn't helping. Look, if you want to make a long drawn out treatise on men & women & couples & relationships & sex, I'm fine. Just make it interesting. Whatever happened to "Sex and the City"? Bouncy, frothy, fun, and sexy. You know it what it was out here? A little middle age marital aphrodisiac. What am I going to do, pour wine down the wife on a Sunday night? I count on HBO to help out a little. Boring doesn't help.
All right, gotta go. Had a few more topics, but middle age beckons with the responsibilities. That sounds bad, but at least my johnson works.
Wait, who am I talking to? It is probably just the Google Gremlin stopping in.
