Today in Idiot Idiosyncracies
First, a classic that we all deal with if not daily at least weekly. It's the deep thinker you are forced to nudge because they are unaware that the traffic light as changed. Not the one who slinks off in shame because you have publicly chided them in front of all the other drivers. The one who acts perturbed that you have impatiently shooed them along. One question that arises, What would be an acceptable amount of time for the rest of us to wait for you to remove your head from your butt? Because that's really unknowable. Is it 2 turns of the light? 3? If I honk after 3 turns of the light, could we expect that your mood might shift from annoyed to sheepish? Frankly, I'm unwilling to find out. I can see in in your car. Your fascinated with something in your console, or your fixated on something outside your car to the point that your oblivious to the fact that you are in a car.
Look, I'm sure you're embarassed. No one likes being told what to do. But I've mastered the light & polite wake 'em up beep. It's not like I've snuck into your house, and blown an air horn in your ear while your sleeping. Move along, and live your life so the rest of us can get on with ours.
The second is one I didn't know existed until I had occasion to frequent the inside of a post office. This is the person who inexplicably stands frozen in front of the mail slots. The Green Light Sitter is a creature of their own inattention. The genesis of the Mail Slot Statue is unknown. What is known is they'll get right up to the slot and stop functioning. Why?
Are they confused by the terms of the slot? Stamped or Metered? Do you really need help with that?
Pick Up Times? If you're calculating the likely arrival date, shouldn't you just overnight it?
Perhaps they're contemplating if there's an efficient method for collecting the mail on the other side of the slot? Fair enough. We can't see back there. Nobody wants their mail to fall behind somebody's desk.
Maybe they read "Where The Wild Things Are" too many times to their kid, and now they're afraid the slot is actually the mouth of a big hairy monster. Now we're getting warm.
I'm going with, they freeze because they're afraid that there is nothing at all behind the slot. A black hole, a big gaping void in the universe that takes your letters and never delivers them. It's a little peek into the psyche of irrational fears right there in front of the mail slots.
Me? I step around them. I don't have a horn to blow inside the post office, and it helps them to see others use the slots fearlessly without hesitation. You can't stop time, and you can't stand in front of the mail slots all day. We send our kids off to college, and we send our mail to be ,well, mailed.
Now, please, get out of my way. I have a life to lead.
