Grey Ghost
Dirkie Dumps Dallas
Has anyone made the , "Now Dirk Nowitzki gets to carry around Peyton Manning's monkey", joke yet? No?
Then dibs.
People will rip Dallas today because that's what we do, rip people, but they caught the perfect storm in first round match-ups. They hadn't beat Golden State in the regular season, so it's no great revelation that the Warriors gave them trouble. Golden State wins the first game, negates home court advantage, and now Cinderella's got a head of steam. Yeah, a 1 shouldn't lose to a 8, but some times in sports a team perceived to be weaker just gives a team perceived to be stronger fits. Happens.
Dirk gets the, "he's not Larry-Magic-MJ", talk, but who is? Sports is littered with outstanding player/never one the big one. OK, he went 2 of 13. If he went 10 of 13 and lost, media would bait him into throwing a teammate under the bus a la Manning and, "we had protection issues all day." Point is, if you didn't win there's no winning.
Cuban, I think, might be the Mavs jinx. I don't mind Cuban...until the ball tips. There's always a controversial owner, a Charlie Finley, a Steinbrenner, a Daniel Snyder, who is a flash point for their team. Off the court, I see him as nothing more than a strong advocate for his team, and the league as a whole. On the court, he reminds me of an overzealous parent who does his kid more harm than good. I don't think the Mavericks team is aware of him, or affected by any of his histrionics. I just think he's a karma killer with all his demonstrative uber-nerdiness, and the basketball god smites his team for it. Mark, get in the owner's box and chill.
One last note from this series...at the gym Wednesday caught the talking head/roundtable segment of "Rome is Burning" on ESPN. One of the heads was one of the idiot twin hosts of ESPN's "Cheap Seats". He said, and I paraphrase here, "The Mavericks are too soft because they won too many games this year. They needed to lose more to toughen up."
Maybe the stupidest comment in the history of talking heads. Thank you, though. It just reinforces for me why "Cheap Seats" is tied with bowling reruns for dead last on things I'll watch on ESPN.
Good luck with the monkey Dirk.
Love,
Peyton
Today in Idiot Idiosyncracies
First, a classic that we all deal with if not daily at least weekly. It's the deep thinker you are forced to nudge because they are unaware that the traffic light as changed. Not the one who slinks off in shame because you have publicly chided them in front of all the other drivers. The one who acts perturbed that you have impatiently shooed them along. One question that arises, What would be an acceptable amount of time for the rest of us to wait for you to remove your head from your butt? Because that's really unknowable. Is it 2 turns of the light? 3? If I honk after 3 turns of the light, could we expect that your mood might shift from annoyed to sheepish? Frankly, I'm unwilling to find out. I can see in in your car. Your fascinated with something in your console, or your fixated on something outside your car to the point that your oblivious to the fact that you are in a car.
Look, I'm sure you're embarassed. No one likes being told what to do. But I've mastered the light & polite wake 'em up beep. It's not like I've snuck into your house, and blown an air horn in your ear while your sleeping. Move along, and live your life so the rest of us can get on with ours.
The second is one I didn't know existed until I had occasion to frequent the inside of a post office. This is the person who inexplicably stands frozen in front of the mail slots. The Green Light Sitter is a creature of their own inattention. The genesis of the Mail Slot Statue is unknown. What is known is they'll get right up to the slot and stop functioning. Why?
Are they confused by the terms of the slot? Stamped or Metered? Do you really need help with that?
Pick Up Times? If you're calculating the likely arrival date, shouldn't you just overnight it?
Perhaps they're contemplating if there's an efficient method for collecting the mail on the other side of the slot? Fair enough. We can't see back there. Nobody wants their mail to fall behind somebody's desk.
Maybe they read "Where The Wild Things Are" too many times to their kid, and now they're afraid the slot is actually the mouth of a big hairy monster. Now we're getting warm.
I'm going with, they freeze because they're afraid that there is nothing at all behind the slot. A black hole, a big gaping void in the universe that takes your letters and never delivers them. It's a little peek into the psyche of irrational fears right there in front of the mail slots.
Me? I step around them. I don't have a horn to blow inside the post office, and it helps them to see others use the slots fearlessly without hesitation. You can't stop time, and you can't stand in front of the mail slots all day. We send our kids off to college, and we send our mail to be ,well, mailed.
Now, please, get out of my way. I have a life to lead.
Google Loaded For Google Bear
What better way to enhance the revenue stream than by inserting all things Google into the template? AdSense has been open for one year, and I've pulled down a whopping 17 cents which Google still refuses to pay me. I'm not forgetting Google. It's certainly not the sporadic posting or the substandard content that's limited the success of the site. It's the fact that the site doesn't have 3 more points of purchase.
With that in mind, I've upgraded the site to include Google Search, Google Referrals, and Google Something Else for your purchasing pleasure. Including the 17 cents already earned, I should expect to exceed the clever name of a popular rapper some 6 months from now. Not his earnings, just his nickname. Wait, why even bring him into this? Never mess with a guy who's been shot and lived.
What chance does anytone have of seeing any of this, let alone using any of the Google crap? I couldn't hardly fit it where I wanted it in the template. I'm like a rookie salesman loaded up with brochures, a sample case, and zero chance of moving a dime of product.
I also took this opportunity to review the Google prohibited practices. Oops. I think I've already violated seven of them. However, like little old ladies and the IRS, Google's not really looking for the ten clicks a month sites.
Seriously though Google, when can I expect the 17 cents? I've had my eye on 3 pieces of gum for 2 months now.
