Grey Ghost
Not a Blog of Note
No, I'm not a blog of note. I feel it's important to make that distinction. In fact as I push toward 2 millionth place on Technorati, I've also noted that Technorati no longer updates my pings.
Ping You, Technorati.
That's o.k.. I'm comfortable here tied in 2 millionth place with all the other Mr. Irrelevants. Fact is I'll never be a blog of a note. Blogs of note have themes. I don't have a theme. I have cynicism. There's nothing notable about cynicism.
Here's my brief cynical take on some of the current blogs of note:
http://davidmetz.net/blog goes by "Philosophical Musings" . Sigh. You lost me at philosophical. I had a minor in Philosophy in college. You might remember philosophy by another word, boring. Honestly, if you can't make a buck with it, or use it to pick up girls, what good is philosophy?
Among other things "Musings" muses on alternative fuels, veganism, and his cat. Me? I got to split. I've got to load my cat hating dog into my Hummer take him out for some 1/4 pounders. Probably won't be stopping back by.
http://threebeautifulthings.blogspot.com Kind of got a Folger's commercial
feel to it. If you haven't figured it out, posts consist of listing 3 happy little ordinary things from everyday life. Lady who writes it seems nice enough. I almost feel bad mocking it.
Tell you what though, let me pitch in with 3 beautiful things from my day.
1) I hope the coffee tickles my colon enough so that I'm out the gate most mornings having taken a colossal cathartic dump.
2) Who cares.
3) Hope the family steers clear of me when I get home until I've pounded at least one martini.
Just beautiful.
http://freeitunessongs.blogspot.com Free because they suck.
http://nurse-ratcheds.blogspot.com Nice themed site by a nurse mostly for a nurse. Again, seems like a nice lady, but Nurse Ratched from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest? Could you pick someone or something less sinister or ominous? How about
http://flyingmonkey.blogspot.com The guy's not using it.
Note that.
This Week in Spam
Here's a new feature where I respond to some of the more notable spam messages I've received lately.
Enjoy act while others wait! - I don't think I'm going to enjoy the act if I know others are waiting for me to finish. What "others"? The others from
Lost? And where are they waiting? In the next room or behind a velvet rope right next me? I don't think this spam was for me at all. I think it was for the waiting others. It should have read, "Form a line behind the rope, he'll be done in a minute, then it's our turn."
Enjoy ssex with her! - Yeah, I'd be stuttering too with all those other people in my bedroom.
She wants a better sex? Make a miracles in bed! - Apparently the pizza guy is now addressing sexual dysfunction. Not that I'm in the market, and I resent the implication, but if I was buying, I think I'd only be interested in the one miracle. No sense spoiling her.
Even if you have no erection problems, soft Cialis can... - Wait, I'm not having a problem and I'm still supposed to take it? That's still an erection problem. It's just a different kind of erection problem. So I'd walk around like a human sun dial, but I couldn't go near schools and playgrounds.
Want to increase your volume by 500%? - No. I mean honestly, if I don't want a 24 hour flagpole, would I want to have a little Vesuvius in my pants?
Erections are still possible Lamar - No, I'm not Lamar, but I half to admit I felt pretty sorry for Lamar after this. Not possible, ever? That's a pretty tough ice breaker for Lamar to have to throw out there on dates. It's right up there with "I live with my mom". Good luck buddy.
Dorothy has a secret from your Vegas vacation - Then Dorothy needs to shut up! Did Dorothy not see the ads? What goes in Vegas stays in Vegas, unless that fusspot Dorothy sees you. Then you can expect an extortion attempt when you get home.
This is the one from Celeste, piano the non-chalantly lodge a bear...- This one made perfect sense to me, so I bought it.
Blogging
Welcome to "I Got Nothing Done Today Wednesday".
Missing several components necessary to complete today's to do list, including the all important initiative, I turn instead to the utterly unproductive, namely the blog. I've said it before,
Blogger- More Unproductive than Microsoft Solitaire. Mine is an easily excused and barely noticed absence from the workforce. Fact is everything's finished tomorrow. But does that little speed bump create a ripple somewhere in the economy? Can the Federal Reserve measure the impact of blogs on the economy's productivity? What's the stat? There's a new blog created every
insert accurate time ratio here. Probably something along the lines of a sucker born every minute. Who's counting and how much does the counting guy's job suck?
These days I find myself attributing any little service disruption to a blog.
The garbage men are late today. They must have stopped to write in their blogs.
The drive thru line is slow. The teenagers stopped cooking fries to write in their blogs.
Grandpa died. The guy giving him cpr left to write in his blog.
Fact is, the people cranking out a new blog a minute? No one asked them to do it. And if no one asked them to do it, you've got real good odds they're burning up useful time on them, like I am now. Ask yourself, where are the garbagemen?
