Weekend Wrap
Like most weekends I come out of them tired. When I was younger my useless day used to be Friday because my weekend started Thursday night. Monday is now the useless day of middle age. Cap a weekend full of activity with a drive Sunday, and Monday's shot.
What, this is already Tuesday? See?
Accompanied my older son's high school basketball team to a camp/tournament at a major university. Fortunately, there was enough basketball and enough parents that I didn't have responsibility beyond my son and one of his teammates. That allowed me the luxury of making another questionable parenting decision.
One night the team debated where might be the best place to eat. Herd mentality reigned. While the team dynamic is an important consideration, dining with any team can easily slip into the realm of elementary school cafeteria. It was Saturday night, my tanks were low, and I didn't have the energy to deal with that. Plus, it embarrasses my son when I threaten to crack a dinner plate over a teammate's skull and cut his throat with a broken shard. Why I'm asked to chaperone, I'll never know.
I pulled my son and his friend aside, and told them that they had an option that they may not had considered yet. I said, "I have five words for you, Hooters in a college town." That's all it took.
What was I going to do with them? If you're visiting a college, you can look at the campus so many times. After a while, you want to see some people. If you're a guy, by people you mean girls. So where can you go if your a high school teenager? They can't go to a bar. They can't go into a sorority. They could walk through the library, but where's the fun in that. If they stare at girls in there, they're labeled as a stalkers. Trust me. Hooters in a college town! There's got to be coeds working there, right? And Hooters encourages that stalker mentality, as long as the stalker tips.
True to form the place is loaded with talent, and they can barely speak. Taking them there, is like putting little kids on the kiddie coaster, while the monster coaster is on the other side of the park. They know they're on a ride. They think they're all tough for getting on it, but really they have no idea. My son's friend looks up about halfway through and says, "Coming here was the best idea ever!". I bought his wings for that ringing endorsement.
A side note. Some jokes you can't make with the teenagers. We were there late, when they start to thin the wait staff towards closing. Our girl wants to check out & close us out, but introduce us to a replacement girl if we want anything else. She brings the replacement girl over, and the girl is pregnant. Cute girl but about 5 or 6 months pregnant. I'm not commenting on the girl. I'm not judging Hooters. I'm not making a statement on federal labor laws. I'm just relaying a fact germane to the joke I was about to make. So the pregnant girl intro's and then leaves, and I turn to the teenagers and say, "Gee, does it look like we have a fetish?" I guess the over/under on fetish jokes is 23 because it goes right over their head.
Leaving, the girls all say goodbye and the teenagers blush like idiots. At the hotel, the trip gives them street cred with the team, and I get parent cred for coming up with the idea. I didn't much expect I'd be using Hooters to raise kids. Funny how that worked out.
